The Great Sheep Swap

The Great Sheep Swap

Chapter 1 – A puff of smoke 

If I’m totally honest, I didn’t notice Mum was missing at first. I mean, not for MONTHS or anything, but for a good few hours.

I just thought she must be out on one of her walks. She loved going for a walk. 

‘Why don’t we go for a walk?’ she’d say. 

‘Again?!’ I’d groan. ‘We went for a walk yesterday.’

‘But it’s so BEAUTIFUL around here,’ she’d say with that weird, dreamy look on her face. ‘Aren’t we LUCKY to live here?’

And I’d roll my eyes and prepare myself for yet another lesson on why the countryside was so brilliant, even though there was no bowling alley or swimming pool, and not even a Mega Burger without driving in the car for about 100 miles or something. And no buses or trains. She makes ‘going for a walk’ sound like a super fun hobby, when actually it’s the only way to get anywhere around here.

Anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yeah. So we – me and my little sister, I mean. Elsie. Noisy little beast. Hair like a blackbird’s nest, permanent candlestick from her nose. Fine when she’s asleep – we’d been playing Zombie Unicorns for, ooh, I don’t know... Three hours, maybe? We’d got to the Enchanted Graveyard of Eternal Sparkles, which we’d NEVER got to before. 

I was starting to feel a bit peckish and I could hear Elsie’s belly rumbling. She isn’t really meant to play Zombie Unicorns because she’s only five and she gets nightmares. But she loves it because, you know… ZOMBIE UNICORNS!!  What’s not to love?! 

So Elsie didn’t want to stop playing even though it was HOURS since lunch. But eventually the rumbling was so loud, she went off in search of Mum and/or food. 

She came back empty handed and alone.

‘Dougiiieeeee? Where’s Mummyyyyyyy?’

‘Hmmm, she said she was just popping out for a minute,’ I said. ‘Something about sheep?’

But then I thought about the fact that we had made it all the way to the Enchanted Graveyard of Eternal Sparkles and realised Mum must have been gone for quite a bit longer than a minute. 

Even then, I can’t say I was worried. The thing about Mum is, she’s awesome and loves us very much and everything but she isn’t always great at the parenting stuff. Like checking which video games we’re playing. Or making sure we get to school on time. Or buying food.

And she is always losing track of time. So the obvious answer was that she’d meant to pop out for a minute and got carried away because she was having so much fun WALKING. 

‘Come on,’ I said, tossing my controller onto the sofa. ‘Let’s go and find her.’

I grabbed the remains of a packet of chocolate digestives from the kitchen (corner cupboard, second shelf up, just out of Elsie’s reach) and we shared them as we put our trainers on and headed outside. 

We were never allowed out on our own in Grimley, the town where we lived until last year. We lived on a MASSIVE road, for starters, with ginormous juggernauts and double-decker buses whizzing past every two seconds. Here, Elsie and I could go out as long as we were together, and told Mum first. 

But seeing as we had no idea where Mum was, we agreed not to worry about the second bit. We did consider calling Dad but both thought that was a Very Bad Idea and we’d be okay so long as we were careful.

Our house is on the edge of the village. In front of our house, and to the left, is nothing but fields. Behind our house is slightly more exciting. It’s still a field, but it’s the school field, with our school at the other end of it. And to the right is a very quiet lane leading to the rest of the village (no juggernauts or buses unless they are very lost). 

As we stood at the end of our path, trying to decide which way to go, we heard a voice calling from along the lane. 

‘Yoo hoo!’ 

It was Mrs Shearer, our neighbour. Our only neighbour, really. Not like in Grimley, where we had loads of neighbours. Although we didn’t really know any of their names, or ever speak to them.

‘Is your mum okay, dears?’ Mrs Shearer called.

‘Er, we… think so,’ I replied, as we jogged up the lane to where we could see her head poking over her hedge. ‘Why?’

‘Oh I’m sure it’s nothing. Only, I was upstairs earlier, changing my net curtains, and I could have sworn I saw your mum at the edge of that field over there. One minute she was chatting away to the sheep…’

Elsie giggled.

‘…and the next, she had vanished. All that was left was a puff of smoke.’

‘Our mum vanished in a puff of smoke?!’ I said. 

Elsie burst into tears.

Chapter 2 – The world’s noisiest sheep

I mean, it’s nice having friendly neighbours and all that but sometimes I think it was easier in Grimley, where no one made eye contact, and they certainly never told you your mum had vanished in a puff of smoke.

I managed to calm Elsie down with an ancient toffee I found in my pocket, Mrs Shearer apologising the whole time. ‘Honestly dears, you know what my eyes are like. It probably wasn’t your mum at all. I bet she’s at home right now, making you something lovely for your supper.’

At this Elsie looked like she was going to cry again, as we both knew very well that Mum was neither a) at home nor b) making us anything for supper, lovely or otherwise.

‘Come on,’ I said. ‘Let’s go for a walk.’

‘A walk??’ Elsie looked like I’d suggested juggling 15 chainsaws. Standing on a shark. ‘But you HATE going for a walk!’